How not to get what you want...

I admit it - I do hate Mondays and yesterday was more ‘Mondayish’ than usual. It’s amazing, isn’t it, how particular words can strike fear into the heart of normal, level headed, resilient types – the words in question were ‘Tax Return’. Now you know why my Monday was so ‘Mondayish’.
Here’s what happened.
I’d been putting off completing the online self assessment tax form for as long as possible and as a result my PIN activation code had long since expired. So there I was tapping away trying to log on to the system and failing miserably. To make matters worse my internal dialogue was saying ‘How am I meant to complete this if I can’t even notice that the PIN is out of date – what a total idiot you are. Useless’.
Thank you internal dialogue!
Still, I played to my strengths and decided to enlist the help of my more spreadsheet-minded girlfriend. As it turned out this was a bad idea. The conversation soon descended into a shouting match, chiefly because I didn’t have any of the figures -- or any clue. Sorry Eliza…
By this time I’m really mad – time to call the nice people at HMRC! The conversation went something like this.
Where’s my PIN?! Just give me a new one over the phone.
Sorry sir you’ll have to request a new activation code online- it will take seven working days.
For God sake that’s ridiculous. Why can’t you give it to me now? Why?
Sorry sir you’ll have to request a new activation code online - it will take seven working days.
This is a total joke; if I get fined for being late I’m not paying it. I mean it, I’m not.
You get the jist…
Now that I’ve slept on yesterday’s events - let’s look at what happened, and at what I should have done instead.

It all started with those two little words ‘Tax Return’. When I said those words to myself, certain pictures instantly sprung to mind; pictures of piles of paperwork falling off my desk, me trawling through expense spreadsheets, pens, more paper, calculators, me rubbing my forehead, writing down formulas and raiding my not so well organised filing cabinet…
Is it any wonder that I had been putting this off!

Those pictures put me in a bad mood even before I started; those pictures turned my brain into a problem seeking missile, so that when I actually did make a start all I wanted to do was ‘seek’ problems and ‘seek’ excuses not to do it. By the time I called the poor lady at the HMRC I was close to meltdown. Not good. That’s why I didn’t get what I wanted – those unhelpful pictures and my unhelpful internal dialogue loomed like a dense layer of fog, slap bang in front of the clarity I needed -the sort of clarity that gets you a bit of rapport and allows you to use the odd technique or two. Nobody is perfect!
Here’s what I’ll do next time.
I’ll make sure I have the right pictures in place first. Pictures that help, pictures that have me completing the tax return successfully, pictures that show how organised I am in advance. I’ll also gently remind myself that I need to make a quick plan detailing exactly how I’m going to get what I want from the HMRC and how I will overcome their faceless system (see You Need This Book chapter 6) before I do a single thing.
And, if I do have to call the HMRC again I’ll use the Being Human technique (see You Need This Book Chapter 13) because obviously they’ll be as inhuman and as bureaucratic as possible. They have to be – to get what they want.